Welcome to our 2010!

Susan seems lost today. She is cold and wants coffee. Other then that, she just keeps going to bed and getting up to stare at me (as if I am supposed to stand up and start entertaining her.) Finally she asks, “Where is Inang?” (Inang means mother in tagalog- Susan’s native language from the Philippines’.) Inang is what we always called Susan’s mother, Jeff’s grandmother.

I have a choice now. I could attempt a change of subject, a redirecting of thoughts; but from my experience she always comes back to it. Or, I could just remind her of the truth and hope that she will believe me for once.

At the risk of an episode of anger or an event of great mourning, I opt for the truth. I look her in the face and firmly state, “Inang died twelve years ago!” Jump back! She looks shocked as her head jerks back and she gawks unbelieving at me. I change the subject. “Susan, the news is on. Go sit in your rocking chair and see what they say.” I suggest. “No, I’ll just go to bed.” She says numbly as she scoots toward the back of the house.

In a few minutes she glides back into the living room without any talk of Inang. She sits at the kitchen table and asks for hot coffee. I oblige.
While heating her coffee I ask, “Do you know what day it is, Susan?”
“Monday” she answers without hesitation. (It’s Wednesday)
“What month is it?” I continue.
“May,” she responds on this cold January morning. (Thought: May is her birthday month)
“What year is it?” I ask next.
“1999,” she reminds me. (Last week she told me it was 1974, so she has aged considerably this week.)

Nothing but silence fills the room for about thirty seconds.

“Is that right?” she wants to know.
“No, it is actually 2010, Susan.” I respond, almost reluctantly.
Her answer surprises me. “What? 2010? Well, that is the end of the world!”
“What?” I hoped I had heard her wrong!
“That is the end of the world!” she proclaims as if she is sure.
“Why would you say that? What do you mean?” I grill.
“It just is!” She repeats as if she knows a big secret.
“Why? Are you going to die?” I have to ask.
“I don’t know, Karen. I just heard that 2010 is the end of the world. That is what she said.” She goes on as if she is telling me a story.
“Who said that?” I ask, disbelieving.
“The lady. You know, the lady on the radio!”

So no, I don't know the lady on the radio. I don't think Susan knows the lady on the radio. Probably she just can't remember where that thought actually came from. Somewhere in her brain, floating about, popping in and out, like a lady on a radio, if I may.

Well, welcome to our 2010!