Happy Holidays?

Last year was Susan’s first Christmas with us. I laugh as I think of the memories from that season that inadvertently became lessons for me to use this year as we head through the season with our Alzheimer’s loved one.

The first lesson is: Don’t put wrapped presents under the tree, at least not before Christmas Eve! Doing so last year proved to be a bad choice since Susan seemed to be drawn to one particular gift wrapped neatly for my granddaughter. In the weeks leading up to Christmas, I repeatedly found Susan razing that present as she pulled, tore and ripped at the paper. At first I could re-tape it, but eventually it was tattered and torn in the same way it might end up on Christmas morning.

I explained over and over that it was a gift I had bought for Victoria. She argued back that she had purchased it for herself. “What is inside then?” I would ask, embarrassed that she had gotten me playing her game once again. She could never remember what it was- just that it was hers! Twice I even finished opening it to prove it was a child’s toy. Still, she coveted it possessively and waited to be alone in the room so that she could tear into it (again!).

The second of last seasons’ lessons is: Don’t let Susan answer the door during the holidays! Since we live far away from our entire family, we do receive occasional boxes from UPS, Fed-Ex or USPS during the holidays. On several occasions Susan would get the door and thus ‘get’ the box- THAT HE GAVE HER! You can guess the rest. But one of those boxes came when I was not home and I had no idea it had even arrived. In fact, we never did actually figure out when the box had really arrived.

I was reaching behind a large object in my living room when I discovered a box from Colosse Cheese (in Pulaski, NY) hidden there! Needless to say, I recognized the box as a Colosse Cheese box that had obviously been sent by my father. Colosse Cheese is a well-known cheese joint with yummy cheese that my dad kindly shares with his children around the US each year. He knows we all love the cheese from Colosse and the memories from days gone by.

“Susan, when did this box arrive?” I asked rather surprised. All she could say was that the man brought it to her! I pointed out the shipping labels that were very visible all over the box that read: TO Jeff and Karen and Family…………… I explained that it needed to be refrigerated because my father had sent us cheese. Tucking the box neatly into the refrigerator, I headed contently to bed.

A bit later Jeff went to get water from the kitchen and returned with a puzzled face. “Karen, where did you put the box of cheese?” “It’s right in the refrigerator.” I answered confidently. He headed back toward the refrigerator as I lay listening to the familiar sound of the refrigerator open and shut before I heard his feet hurrying toward his mother’s bedroom. When she answered I heard him ask for the box, to which she denied having any knowledge. I could tell he entered her room against her will before I heard his feet marching back to the refrigerator where he replaced the box in a less conspicuous place in the refrigerator.

Next day I was talking to her at her highly secured bedroom door when I got a glimpse of my box sitting in her room again! Angry, I grabbed it up and asked her what she was thinking by taking it back out of the refrigerator?! You may be laughing, but I assure you that I was not! She protested my robbing her of her box as I headed toward the refrigerator where I camouflaged it out of view from the house cheese mouse.

There were other lessons learned last season and other memories made. I am sure there will be more fun -more stress -and more stories to share this year. That is what it is all about I suppose, isn’t it? I wish you all happy holidays with those you love this season!