Silver Alert!

Another Silver Alert has been issued here in Oklahoma City. In the same way that an Amber Alert is issued for a missing child, so a Silver Alert can be issued for a senior citizen who goes missing. The recent decision to enable this type of alert locally, serves as a reminder to me that we are not alone in caring for a confused senior citizen. In fact, with the increase in the number of people suffering with Alzheimer’s, I am afraid we will only become more familiar with these alerts.

James, the eighty year old gentleman who is missing today is said to be having problems with his memory. His 1995 silver Mercury Marquis is gone as well. My prayers go up for this man and his family this morning. I hope that maybe by the time the sun rises he can be found and returned back to those who care about him. He looks like such a sweet kind man (his picture keeps flashing across my television); the kind of guy I’d like to have for a neighbor.

That’s who they are, you know- these Alzheimer’s people. They are our mothers and fathers, our grandparents, and our kind neighbors. Yes, if statistics hold, they are us- you and me! They are people who are loved (or not loved) and folks with careers, hobbies or ministries that they have believed in and worked hard at. They are Presidents' and actors, housewives and sisters. They are anyone. They are Susan.

They, like Susan, were just busy living life. Probably there were small bouts of confusion or small moments of mixed up words or names. No real reason to be concerned; all of us do that. Next there were likely some missed appointments or getting lost going to familiar places. Finally the symptoms became harder to overlook and ignore and probably caused concern in those close by. Eventually, (as is Susan’s case) if family members are not nearby, they are made aware of the changes through concerned neighbors or co-workers.

For Susan it was her landlord and neighbors who became concerned. She was living alone in an apartment and still drove a car and seemed fairly normal (at a distance). She hid things well. When we would call her to check on her, she generally mentioned that she had been to church and watered her plants, she always asked when we could visit and usually said she was in her bedroom watching television. We really had no idea exactly how bad things had gotten.

Eventually the family agreed to do an intervention on her behalf. Family members traveled from across the U.S. to accompany Susan to several doctors’ appointments and to make some decisions regarding her living situation. Susan was happy that she was getting so much attention and had no idea what was really going on. Much coaxing was necessary to get her to agree to go to her children’s homes in other states. She even participated in making decisions regarding her possessions that were packed into a U-Haul to accompany her on the journey. But by morning, she woke up to a house with things rearranged and moved about and was sure that she had been robbed. The only thing she had been robbed of that night was her memory.

Looking back, I am not sure how she lived so long by herself when her comprehension level was so sadly diminished. But she did. There was no way to grasp the depravity of her reality until we entered her apartment the day of her departure and began the big clean out. Although certain things weaken my stomach, I started with the refrigerator to allow her own children the freedom to sort the more important items and paperwork. Let me just say this: stench, rot, bugs, and many loads of unidentifiable packaged stuff (for lack of a more suitable word) later, and several hours until I could turn my attention to the old canned food and saved plastic containers and jars crammed in every spare inch of this small kitchen. As I yanked oddities from their uneasy places in the kitchen I could hear the other family members discussing their findings in the rest of the house. Things like overdue bills, urine on floors, and unexplainable loads of junk. We all held back tears. The thought of her living under these conditions was practically unbearable. There was no question that we were doing the right thing, even if Susan found it hard to understand.

The truth is that everything about Alzheimer’s is hard to understand, but it is not all bad. Susan now lives in a safe clean home where she is loved, eats good healthy food, and takes her medicines on time. Her medicines probably have gone a long way helping her retain a portion of her memory and keeping her from becoming too angry, aggressive or depressed. It is not ideal for any of us, but you learn to do the best you can with what you have. We have a mother with Alzheimer’s.


(Note: The pictures on this blog were taken last year when the family gathered for the intervention with Susan.)



P.S. Just as the sun was rising in the morning sky, they announced that Mr. James was found and is safely home with his family. Thank you God.