Getting Away From It All

We took a trip last week to my family reunion in Kentucky. I always look forward to that trip. The smell of the true southern cooking and the southern accents of welcoming relatives create a magnet effect drawing me and all other Deaton kinfolk toward the hills each August. I’d change nothing about spending time with my Dad and siblings as we share adventures at the lodge, hike the hills, enjoy the food and swim the pools.

A day together begins with early morning coffee on balconies and late night catching up parties in one another’s rooms. Inevitably we venture out- all seven cars twisting and whirling their way through hollows and around hills. It is our journey through time. Our trip back to the old homestead and surrounding points of interest has been a treasured tradition since I can remember. My dad and his siblings point out nostalgic places and tell stories of growing up in the Appalachians’. We stand by the graves of our grandparents and great aunts and uncles and others we might not exactly remember. It’s all part of what draws us there. It’s why we come- if we can.

If I can. Until the last I was never for sure that I could- that I would. But I did- we did. It was great to get away- a much needed getaway. I tried not to think too much about what was happening at home, not about Susan or anything else. I just wanted to enjoy the moment I was in, the freedom, the scenery, the activity and my family. I did!

But getting away isn’t so easy anymore. Who would care for Susan? We have learned that respite care is a touchy thing, much to my dismay. If there is no family available or able to care for a loved one than hiring one out becomes necessary. That is not as easy as it might seem. And wow, the cost is outrageous! Suppose there was no money for respite care? Would the caregiver not get any much needed time away?

My main concern in leaving Susan this time was that whoever cared for her needed to be patient and understanding with her while remaining firm and diligent. Can you hire that out? Obviously, Susan needs closer monitoring as time goes on and her disease progresses. She is likely to try to cook something and leave it forgotten on the stove or in the microwave (as she has proved three times this month). She could slip out the front door and perhaps wander off or be locked out unnoticed. She could harm herself in so many ways that I couldn’t even imagine them all. Recently, she popped a rose rock into her mouth for a between meal snack. Luckily, Kyle saw her sneak it into her mouth and made her spit it out before she broke the rest of her dentures. On another occasion she snacked on dog treats. There’s no telling what she could get into.

Jeff almost stayed behind on the trip because of the difficulty finding someone to care for his mother. I felt sad that he would take the time off of work and not go anywhere. In the end, my son and his wife took on the challenge of caring for Susan. They prepared meals and ensured Susan ate, assisted nurses and aids in their care of Susan, dressed and undressed, played night time monitors, kept her on her medication schedule, cleaned up after and washed clothes for Susan (not to mention their own selves)….. Frankly, they were glad to see us return and were admittedly ready for their own getaway!

Thanks guys.