Monday, June 7, 2010

Changing Views

I love a window seat. From my small airplane seat, I can look down at the local geography... then at the clouds... and eventually the upper atmosphere of my world. It is a whole new perspective from up there. My life and town are just a small part of the big picture. Even the massiveness of Mt. Fuji was dwarfed in significance as (years ago) we flew overhead. Although, from the ground it dominates the Japanese skyline and demands respect as it rises magnificently in the eastern sky.

Today I am not escaping on an airplane; no, I am not headed to a grand destination. But if I were, I am sure that as I left the Will Roger’s Airport (directly west of my Oklahoma neighborhood), I would observe a scattered path of destruction making its way across the landscape. A line of downed trees and dangling houses would guide the eye through the midst of the destruction, where people (like ants) could be seen working diligently to clean up and rebuild.

In the middle of it all, I would look down at my own partially repaired house with its new roof and half-finished siding. I would see my family still outside cleaning debris, installing new siding and rebuilding our home and lives. We seem to be doing that far too often these days. There would be me, alone in the middle of the silent aftermath of tornado alley, working peacefully on my own little piece of this bigger world. Me, nearly silent while I am living life as it comes my way, taking care to take care: of things, of people and of myself.

What would not be seen from the window view would be Susan.
No, Susan is not out and about much these post-tornado days. She has been especially confused since the twister hit our community over three weeks ago. Who could blame her? She never did like change! Yet, change has been inescapable these past twenty-five days. Even Susan’s view from her chair at the kitchen table where she sits and looks out at the weather, her flowers and the trees – is unrecognizable. Nothing looks the same as it did one hour before the tornado hit!

Susan’s little world was visually jolted in a whirlwind! She reminds me of Dorothy in The Wizard of Oz! I've half expected her to announce, “Toto, we’re not in Kansas anymore!” From the time she walked out of her shelter on May tenth, nothing has looked like she struggled to remembered it! Markers that once told her she was almost home are no longer there to guide her way. A drive around the block is filled with missing houses(demolitioned) and others that are crippled or patched; once familiar roads are now edged with debris piles and tree branches. Trees that once pointed the way home are now fallen and broken.

Susan keeps asking us to take her home; she is tired
and needs to rest in a familiar place. She says that she appreciates our hospitality and that she will come back to visit tomorrow, but for today (each day) she needs to get home and take care of pressing business: her baby needs to be fed, her children need to eat, her husband will wonder where she is or her house needs her attention. I think about telling her to follow the yellow brick road- just follow the yellow brick……..

She finds the fact that she has lived here for nearly two years incomprehensible. No way could she have lived in this unfamiliar place so long. A few times I have convinced her to sit outside while we work on rebuilding projects, but she wiggles with discomfort and always manipulates her way back inside. It is as though she is afraid of finding the witch’s feet protruding from underneath our house! :) Her bedroom is her comfort zone. It has not changed.

Since there is no wizard here, I suppose it is up to me to help Susan rediscover a new normal- that is, after I find it myself! Things should settle down soon and this family will resume living; then again, I guess that is really what we are doing- taking life as it comes and flexing to deal with change. It’s all-good in the end. Really it is.

2 comments:

Unknown said...

Karen & Jeff,
I still find it to be a miracle that you all survived such a horrible event! I'm very thankful for that!
I can't imagine what it must be like to look around a what used to be your sanctuary and find its no longer there. Must be even worse for Susan.
My thoughts and especially my prayers continue to be with you and Susan.
Thanks for sharing. I can't tell you how much I enjoy your accounts of life as it is for you.

Becky said...

Jeff and Karen, God bless you guys. What a gigantic undertaking you have taken on. My prayers are with you guys/your whole family. I think of you often. Hope Ed has been in contact with his mother while he still has the chance. Love to you both, your sister in law Becky