Up and Away

So, this time I really am in the air and my getaway is for real! Well, almost…
In fact, this blog is being written from my small seat on an airplane flying somewhere over Utah- Kansas- Colorado and Oklahoma. It is true, Jeff and I went away; the discrepancy lies in the actual act of “getting away.” Although it was Jeff’s business trip to Utah that initiated the get away, I took advantage of the opportunity to tag along. It was too tempting to resist, since our daughter, Katrina, and her husband Kyle, are stationed in Utah, with the Air Force.

Our time with our children has been sweet and joyous while the scenery was awesomely inspiring. But “getting away from it all” seems to be non-existent in our lives right now. Honestly, I could write several chapters in my adventure novel- all about what we had to deal with on our “get away” this week. It became all too clear to everyone around us that really getting away is no longer possible for us, not at this time in our lives, anyway. We really had tried. I figured, if we prepared well enough, it would be easier to comfortably leave it all behind. Our caretakers at home vowed not to call us unless it was absolutely vital. They knew how much we needed the time out. In fact, only a few chosen people even knew we were leaving.

With Susan in our home, lots of preparation goes into getting away. Anyone with children or a loved one requiring ‘special care’ can fully relate to what I am saying here. It may seem to be all somewhat routine; however, with Susan it is vital to go over every possible scenario, because the truth is, every scenario is not only possible, but likely. “What if she has a seizure…a mini-stroke…wanders off…has high blood pressure…” We review symptoms and responses, nurse’s schedules and medicines. We leave lists, important numbers and medical files. And of course, we never leave town without a legal temporary Medical Power of Attorney, signed and notarized.

I will say though, that with all of that finally taken care of, when we drive out of the driveway, we are generally truly able to leave it all behind and just enjoy where we go and what we do (away from Susan). Or should I say, we used to. On this trip to be sure, Susan has caused us worries, time and many phone calls; but remember, she is not our only concern in life. Imagine that! She was not our only disruption from the beauty of Utah, the sweetness of our daughter and the awesomeness of the mountains and waters that we so enjoyed.

We are traveling home to a house without Susan- only caregivers rushing back and forth to the hospital where Susan is now a patient. The “what if’s”… happened. Perhaps it was another seizure or stroke, an infection or possibly even pneumonia. From what I hear though, Susan is keeping the hospital staff on red alert (as usual)! I admit it, I am laughing. That means she is well enough to be Susan. She is ripping at her IV’s , trying to disconnect her catheter and attempting to discharge herself from the hospital, where she is sure she does NOT need to be!

It looks like we will be flying
into Oklahoma City and heading directly to the hospital. I am sure that Kiara, Ted and Megan will be glad to see us coming. I bet they need a break. And I thank them all for working to give us one.

(The photos on this entry were all taken on out trip to Utah, including the one of my daughter, Katrina.)

The Mama's and The Papa's

We came home to find everyone still alive and getting along rather nicely in our absence. Katrina’s loving care for her Grandmother certainly exceeding my own care for her. In fact, I think Susan enjoyed the change as much as I did! Katrina made delicious meals, bathed Susan, took her on outings and even invited guests into our home.

Of course, Susan did have her moments on the edge, but overall things went splendidly. What would I have done if Katrina could not have come? I really don’t know. I am sure that not having a getaway plan causes burnout to caregivers more then anything else. There needs to be a plan for time out in any job with a high burnout rate. A time of refreshing and renewing of mind, spirit and body. Any caregiver needs to take this seriously and so do those who love them or support them. Thanks Katrina and Kyle for supporting Jeff and me.

True to form, Susan’s antic’s kept humor in the home while we were away. One night in particular, Katrina had dinner guests, including Kyle’s grandparents. Susan enjoyed having visitors and apparently wore her ‘Susie-Q’ face; the pleasant one that brings out her charm and makes her smile a lot at others. She loves nicknames; I think having one for people (or they for her) makes her feel closer to them, like they are close enough to have nicknames.

So on this particular night, when meeting the Grandparents, who are obviously younger then Susan (at least it is obvious to everyone else), she asked them if it would be okay if she called them Mama and Papa!!! I hear that the gracious visitors obliged Susan by telling her that, “yes” she could call them Mama and Papa. The funnies part is that Susan thinks she is much younger then she is, so to her this seemed perfectly appropriate. Besides, Mama and Papa didn’t seem to mind.

(This picture of Susan tells it all, doesn't it?!)

Journeys

Our journey to the south has been a great diversion from our duties as caregivers. Although we have kept up with Katrina about her time with Susan, we have also been able to put it aside, if even just for a little while. In a way this leaving our duties to one mother to do our duty for another mother is sadly ironic; in a far greater way, it is a blessing because of the love that Jeff and I share for both of our mother’s.

Woo Hoo! We chose to drive more of America’s back roads for this particular journey in our lives. I suppose we simply weren’t in the mood for the less scenic hustle of the interstates. It makes me feel old- that’s for sure. It’s really all about our need for the less traveled roads. The scenic route we traveled wound through small cities and communities where people are busy living real lives, has nurtured our souls.

I felt connected to them all in a way that I never have before- more curious about their lives and interested in their stories. Everyone has one, you know. I found myself often silent on this trip, just starring out the window at the world I have been missing and at the people I long to know. Jeff was quieter too. We were dreaming and pondering on these lives all around us, including our own.














Periodically one of us would begin chatting about a dream or a hope for our future and the other would add to it. Our dreams are not big; they are just happy ones! They are like stars in the sky that twinkle reminders of their existence. These past few years we have watched helplessly as falling stars have again and again dashed across our skies. We have stood helpless to stop them. Too often, we have not realized they were falling until we saw their skidding light of warning in our horizon.

But right now we aren’t looking back- not until we have to. Soon enough, dealing with my mother’s estate will certainly force us to do some of that. For right now though, we are only taking in the view of each moment of every day. Oklahoma…Biloxi…on to the shrimp cook off in Mobile under the live oaks… alligators… grand sceneries… emerald coast… palm trees…white sand…ocean waves!

Heading out!

I can hardly believe it! Tomorrow Katrina arrives and Jeff and I are off to Florida! It feels like respite for us; I suppose because it is the closest thing we have had to time off. The reality is that we are headed to Florida to take care of my mother’s estate. My siblings and myself are scattered around this country, making tending to our mother’s business easy to neglect. It is hard to believe that she has been gone over sixteen months now. Her vacant house is much in need of our attention, so I hear.

So, although we are going to take care of unpleasant business, I still can’t help being excited! Other then a few days off last August for my Kentucky family reunion, I have NOT been away from Susan for more then a day or two since my mother’s death and funeral. That really is pretty bad, now that I am thinking about it. But what are caregivers to do? As all caregivers know, if there is no one (willing or able) to give us a break, we simply won’t get one.

My daughter is my rescuer! She will fly in from Utah tomorrow as Jeff and I head for the Gulf of Mexico. I am so ready to drive away in the car- not looking back, and just drive like crazy toward the beaches. I am SO looking forward to the wind in my face as I take in every mountain, every lake, every homestead, every city and town! Just the change of scenery and the freedom of the drive will be therapy for this weary soul.

I will post as I go and hope that you will enjoy the diversion as much as I hope to. So hitch a ride … and come away with me…….